| clergy | jews |
| laity | gentiles |
| choirmaster | god |
| choir | trying |
| robes | robes |
| flower guild | see above |
| psalter | rare book |
| book of common prayer | red book |
| common worship | read book |
| hymn book | new book |
| sunday school | lambs |
| baptised (C of E only) | sheep |
| the rest of us | goats |
| administrator | donkey |
| treasurer | bankrupt |
| PCC | deluded |
| eastenders | never watch it |
| cleaners | angels |
| wardens | heroes |
With respect to the lamented Beaker Folk of Husborne Crawley
P
